Grief process

A new found friend sent me this in an email and it helps to realize that this is a normal process!!!  And as much as I tell everyone I am okay, and some days- MOST days- I am... I am still grieving.  There are still days when I don't want to get out of bed. Where it feels like its a rainy nasty day even though its bright and sunny.  Those days when I feel like the biggest idiot in the world.  The days when I feel SO lost like I will never be found. 

But you know what... those days are becoming few and far between.  Its friends you Christina and Sarah that help me realize and are guiding me through this journey of having a "special" child.  I am finding out how to turn this parent's worst nightmare into a daydream.  Hopefully whatever dream it is will be over soon and we will be able to regain some sense of NORMAL!

Phases of Grief-

Denial-"it cant be!!'

Release-tears

Depression/Isolation-'nobody understands ME'

Physical Symptoms (neurasthenia)-'i cant go on'

Panic/Anxiety-'i cant do THIS'

Guilt-'How did this happen, what did I do to cause this?'

Hostility-'why ME and why MY baby?'

Inability to do Normal activities-'i dont want to go out, I dont want to
talk to anyone'

Social sharing-'this is my story'

Rituals and Appeasements-'i will do this right'

Hope-'someday this will work out'

Acceptance/Adjustment integration-'I'll get on with it'

I have definitely made it into the Rituals/ Hope phase- which in 3 months flat I feel like that is pretty darn good... now how on earth do I take that final step!!??????